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Age
is inevitable. As each day passes, the wisdom of that day's lessons
become apparent in my eyes... as each month passes, another laugh
line develops around my eyes... another wrinkle from the salty tears
which have fallen can be seen... Yet, no matter what I do, the clock
will continue to tick... time will continue to march forward, and
yesterday is gone. Yesterday is lost. Such too, is my youth.
Our society is very specific in it's definition of attractive. In
our culture, people make a snap judgment about other people based
solely on the way they look... If you look at another person, you
can determine if they are attractive or not on first glance. It
is what our MTV driven culture teaches us, and is ingrained in our
mentality... I am no different... And, when I look into a mirror,
I do not like what I see.
I am a perfectionist. I am a demanding bitch, as my boyfriend will
tell you. And, there is nothing more pathetic than an old goth....
and when i look into the mirror, sometimes that's what I see....
and it drives me mad... I hate my facial structure (another long
story entirely,) and I hate the effects that age has and is taking...
I am not fond of body hair, and i find myself shaving more areas
of my body more frequently... and for every picture posted on this
website, 10 more have been destroyed because of the way i look in
them. I find myself getting a little soft around the waist... I
have love handles. My abdominal have vanished to a faint trace...
Gone is my youth. Gone is the beautiful face of an 18 year old in
eyeliner. Gone is the gothboi of the 80's,,, here is the adultgoth
of the corporate world.
If I could undo what time has wrought, I would. Instead, i will
just avoid mirrors. |
